tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-61914882011-08-01T06:06:49.439-07:00Detailing the postal adventures of the inscrutable Ruddy Ruddy.Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.comBlogger671100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1169611926400805642007-01-23T19:53:00.000-08:002007-01-23T21:14:14.566-08:00

Dedicated to Kitty, a wonderful friend whom Ruddy Ruddy brought to me three years ago this month.It's been nearly two years now, and it's time to tell the story. In March of 2005, I was confronted with a devastating truth about Ruddy Ruddy, one that rendered me more or less incapable of going on with the blog. Oh, I thought maybe I'd be able to move on someday as though nothing had happened, and

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1138636743251760642006-01-30T07:53:00.000-08:002006-01-30T07:59:03.266-08:00

Look who gets a shout-out from Salon TV columnist Heather Havrilesky in her latest column [boldface mine]: Here's what concerns me the most about your current state: You seem rudderless. Meaning, if your life were a boat, that boat would have no rudder. The rudder is the part of the boat that points the boat in the right direction. You're missing a rudder. Also, your skin looks ruddy. Ruddy skin

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1138064159286494992006-01-23T16:36:00.000-08:002006-01-23T16:55:59.336-08:00

Just when you thought this blog was dead, here I am. Surely it must be something big to justify breaking the silence, you may be thinking. And you may be right. I've said in the past that there were three things I wanted to see happen to Ruddy Ruddy: get registered to vote, get a credit card, and get drafted.Well, as it happens, I just got back from the polls, where I'm sorry to say I voted as

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1116997073925595092005-05-24T21:52:00.000-07:002005-05-24T22:58:18.306-07:00

I know, I know -- I haven't posted in exactly three months. The reason is that I found out something so utterly flabbergasting about Ruddy Ruddy that I haven't been sure what to do with it. When I found out, my jaw literally fell off.So I couldn't deal. I had to take off. Maybe see America. Learn to live again. Learn to love again. Try to find myself. And Ruddy Ruddy too. Of course you know I

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1109294158988701852005-02-24T17:15:00.000-08:002005-02-24T17:15:58.986-08:00

Here.

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1108845885568882942005-02-19T12:38:00.000-08:002005-02-19T12:45:23.540-08:00

Someone at work pointed out that mailing addresses are usually sold by the thousand. The term is CPM (cost per mille, I guess. How many bilingual abbreviations like that do you see?). I actually learned all about this in publishing school, but I've forgotten a lot of the non-editing stuff.So that $80 price I saw for Ruddy Ruddy was probably actually for Ruddy Ruddy and 999 other poor suckers.

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1107489906358059142005-02-03T18:33:00.000-08:002005-02-03T22:24:09.370-08:00

It may have been a while since the last piece of mail arrived for Ruddy Ruddy, but I can't hold that up as my excuse for a lack of posts. In fact, one arrived weeks ago concerning the latest developments surrounding Ruddy Ruddy's harassment by Enchantress Hosiery. As has so often been the case, I've responded to their urgent entreaties to send them money by ignoring them entirely. However, such

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1104990500896475942005-01-05T21:38:00.000-08:002005-01-05T22:08:20.313-08:00

One of the best things I've seen in the past little while is that I got some 19-year-old named Ruddy upset because I called the name "Ruddy Ruddy" ridiculous. If you missed it because you don't read the comments (and why would you?) witness his recent complaint: This makes me angry Ruddy inc. that you tell people that ruddy is a ridiculous name, because the fact is my real name is Ruddy!!! So i

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1103173662919206972004-12-15T19:44:00.000-08:002004-12-15T22:28:38.870-08:00

It's not every day that a bunch of grapes sits down and writes you a letter. And as it turns out, this hasn't happened to Ruddy Ruddy either, though at first glance, it sort of looked that way. The recently delivered envelope has a return address, but no name -- only a drawing of a bunch of grapes where the name should go. Could it be Don Cherry's personal stationery? With the envelope opened,

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1101717861544496052004-11-29T01:30:00.000-08:002004-11-29T01:22:30.436-08:00

It’s a well-established fact that Ruddy Ruddy is an Ontario Chicken Lover. But poultry is paltry. A letter from Superior Farms, a California-based purveyor of USDA choice premium lamb, serves notice that nothing tastes finer or more succulent than a cuddly animal — preferably a mammal — cut down in the prime of youth. It’s true. Lamb not only sounds better than mutton; it is better. Veal tastes

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1100147633062219672004-11-10T19:06:00.000-08:002004-11-10T20:39:46.343-08:00

You'll never guess what Ruddy Ruddy's middle name is. Give up? It's Ruddy. I'll bet you never saw that coming. I'm not sure what made the Christadelphian Bible Study Center decide to address the envelope they recently sent to "Ruddy Ruddy Ruddy". Perhaps they were just taking a logical guess as to the recipient's middle name. Or perhaps "Ruddy" is officially written down as Ruddy Ruddy's middle

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1098766746040269642004-10-25T20:39:00.000-07:002004-10-25T22:19:35.726-07:00

If Lenny Bruce was right that comedy is remembered pain, then you lucky readers are in for some 24-karat comic gold. Every move I make brings a flash of agony and the vivid recollection of my wanton destruction of my own lower back this morning in the gym, caused by putting away some dumbbells that I was finished with. (Lesson: Never clean up after yourself.) To make things worse, my resulting

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1098419838129509252004-10-21T20:18:00.000-07:002004-10-21T22:33:54.053-07:00

I've been meaning to post on this one since August, when I dropped a little hint about it. But it seems that I piqued absolutely no one's curiosity, and then other things came up, and I kind of forgot about it for a while. Anyway, the Chicken Farmers of Ontario sent Mrs. Ruddy Ruddy another issue of Wing magazine. Now, the last issue of this purportedly semiannual (or biannual, if you prefer)

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1096956299684802192004-10-04T21:12:00.000-07:002004-10-04T23:08:11.740-07:00

Ruddy Ruddy has a problem. Welcome to a Very Special Episode of Ruddy Ruddy. The Ruddy Ruddy After-School Special. The TV Movie of the Week, starring Meredith Baxter-Birney as Ruddy Ruddy, in her most powerful dramatic role ever. Yes, Ruddy Ruddy has a problem. So says Alcoholics Anonymous, who have staged an intervention by mail to free Ruddy Ruddy from the grip of the demon rum. Enclosed in a

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1096518766840757822004-09-29T20:52:00.000-07:002004-09-29T22:00:42.746-07:00

Discussing your job on a blog is a bit of a no-no. Say the wrong thing, and you can find yourself out on the street clutching a banker's box full of your personal effects. But I don't think there's any harm in mentioning that my job involves editing marketing material and that my boss pulled me into his office yesterday to show me something. "Check this out," he said, handing me a prototype

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1095997039633565042004-09-23T20:15:00.000-07:002004-09-23T22:20:50.683-07:00

"Ruddy Ruddy" has been variously prefixed by the honorifics "Mr.", "Mrs.", "Miss", and even "Dr". But never before have I seen anything addressed to "Super Ruddy Ruddy". Until now, that is. Shell Motorsport has sent a bunch of stickers of its Ferrari racing team. I'm not sure why. Maybe they believe Super Ruddy Ruddy to be the thinly disguised superpowered alter ego of the regular Ruddy Ruddy,

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1095828823006816162004-09-21T21:47:00.000-07:002004-09-22T09:44:01.040-07:00

This didn't fit anywhere in today's other update, but I thought it worthy of mention: My housemate almost walked in on me tonight while I was completely undressed, but fortunately, my nakedness just happened to be blocked from her vantage point by an enormous stack of previously discussed mail to Ruddy Ruddy that happened to be stacked on a shelf interposed between us. At least, I think so. I

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1095828423780975252004-09-21T21:13:00.000-07:002004-09-21T21:47:03.780-07:00

Well, it’s that time of the month again for Miss Ruddy Ruddy. No, I’m not talking about menstruation, or PMS, or anything like that. Quite the reverse – it’s time for Enchantress Hosiery of Canada to bitch at Ruddy Ruddy in what has fast become a monthly tradition of tersely worded collection letters. Behold: PAY $24.64 NOW TO AVOID COLLECTION Acct # 004295469-9 Dear Miss Ruddy, Your

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1094607974024070902004-09-07T17:05:00.000-07:002004-09-08T21:25:05.456-07:00

The latest envelope sent to Ruddy Ruddy is notably blank on its exterior surfaces, with no return address listed. Probably another little something from a collection agency trying not to tip its hand, I'll bet. Ripping it open, I notice that it's curiously empty. The only thing I see at first glance is just a very small, slim, folded-up pamphlet. I unfold it, seeing the word natural superimposed

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1093323957455396272004-08-23T21:28:00.000-07:002004-08-23T22:05:57.456-07:00

I got this letter -- which comes from Mead Johnson Nutritionals -- last Wednesday, August 18. Remember that. IMPORTANT SAFETY NOTICE July 20, 2004 Dear Valued Customer, Our records indicate that you were sent a set of Enfamil A+ Visual Flash Cards from Mead Johnson Nutritionals.In the U.S. we have received a few consumer reports of damaged flash cards or of the ring breaking. No reports

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1092716833257676652004-08-16T20:48:00.000-07:002004-08-16T21:27:13.256-07:00

What's this? It's the first-ever drunken Ruddy Ruddy update. I stopped off after work to have a lot of beer with one James R. Pinkerton, who happens to write a very, very funny weblog, and inspired by his great works, I vowed as I returned home that if there were a letter for Ruddy Ruddy in my mailbox, I would write an update. There was, and I am. Does being drunk help one write? I don't know -

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1092629634645318522004-08-15T20:03:00.000-07:002004-09-11T15:56:50.766-07:00

I'm still trying to work my way through the (now visibly diminishing) pile of Ruddy Ruddy mail that I've accumulated over my hiatus, so here's another one. This one comes from Communication Canada, and as it's addressed to R SPECIAL 25363200S RUDDY INC I expect it to be, well, special. Let's open it, shall we? PUBLISHING AND DEPOSITORY SERVICES IMPORTANT NOTICE RE: SERVICE DISRUPTIONS

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1092192954127104422004-08-10T19:55:00.000-07:002004-08-10T21:08:36.573-07:00

Well, it's been a while since we've heard from Harlequin and the Reader Service. But of course, them having passed the issue of Ruddy Ruddy's putative debt on to Collectcorp, we're not likely to hear from them again. They've washed their hands of Ruddy Ruddy, and good riddance. ("And the same to you, fellas!" Ruddy Ruddy might say if he existed.) But it is with delight that I open today's

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1092002326197787082004-08-08T14:32:00.000-07:002004-08-08T14:58:46.196-07:00

In one hand, I have a letter from Tylenol addressed to Miss Ruddy Ruddy. In the other hand, I have a letter from Tylenol that arrived around the same time as the first and is addressed to Mrs. Ruddy Ruddy. (You may ask how I am typing with both hands occupied. To this, I answer: shut up.) Why is Tylenol having such a hard time figuring out if Ruddy Ruddy is married or not? Are the demographics

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1091598476728937492004-08-03T22:47:00.000-07:002004-08-03T22:49:04.106-07:00

As part of my ongoing efforts to work my way though the backlog of mail, I've opened three new packages sent by Enfamil to Dr. Ruddy Ruddy. I could have spaced them out and opened them separately to make for more updates, but what more do I have to say about Enfamil that I didn't cover last time? But before I get to the actual contents of the envelopes, I must address something that has

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1091339677176039342004-07-31T20:52:00.000-07:002004-07-31T23:05:40.136-07:00

Well, this one ought to be good: The latest piece of mail plucked from the pile (a rather thick one) comes from CBH Ministries of Grand Rapids, Michigan, and is addressed to "DONOR ID: 152452 RUDDY RUDDY". Think they're coming to Ruddy Ruddy with their hand out? Think they'll get anything? Well, if it's a plea for Ruddy Ruddy to exhibit the Christian virtue of charity, it's not an overly blatant

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1091157695981920262004-07-29T20:08:00.002-07:002004-07-29T20:26:40.796-07:00

As I said below: ... no second invoice could be found, although one would guess that it must have been mailed out around June 13 or 14. It was June 15, actually; I finally found that second letter from Enchantress Hosiery of Canada, which turned up in a pile of my regular mail across the room from the trove of Ruddiness. (That is, the letter turned up in the mail pile -- not Enchantress Hosiery

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1090555501191787432004-07-22T21:01:00.000-07:002004-07-22T22:29:24.530-07:00

As my few remaining readers know, I've all but ignored Ruddy Ruddy over the last three months, during which time I was in training for a body transformation contest (which I won). The mail does not stop, however, and it turns out that the last three months have been a more interesting time for Ruddy Ruddy than I had realized. When I got home from work today, there was an envelope for Miss Ruddy

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1088394737892646312004-06-27T20:10:00.000-07:002004-06-27T21:44:17.570-07:00

Good god -- has it already been a month? It has. Sorry about the hiatus, but I'm nearing the end of a vigorous three-month regimen of dieting, cardio and weight training. Normally, I hate people who use their blogs to go on and on about their personal lives that I don't care about, but I thought I should mention this as this is my excuse: The whole thing's kept me pretty busy and without even a

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1084935598701663082004-05-18T19:24:00.000-07:002004-05-18T21:48:11.493-07:00

As Scott pointed out to me recently, although it may have only been two cents, Ruddy Ruddy has nevertheless reached a new milestone by receiving money in the mail. Perhaps it is because the authorities want Ruddy Ruddy to be able to be able to responsibly handle his new financial windfall, then, that the Federal Reserve Bank of Philadelphia helpfully sent along an informational video to explain

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1084328033107831982004-05-11T19:02:00.000-07:002004-05-18T20:14:45.470-07:00

As if in reward for Sunday's update, two more pieces of mail promptly arrived yesterday. And when I say "reward", I mean it literally: One letter included two shiny pennies glued to it in such a way that they were tantalizingly visible through the envelope's cellophane window. With dollar signs literally in my eyes, I tore the envelope open, only to find out to my horror that this was no mere

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1084148803721109542004-05-09T17:19:00.000-07:002004-05-09T17:55:49.280-07:00

Hola, amigos! I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but ... well, I've been busy. All is good; I just haven't had much time for the Ruddiness. However, it's a Sunday, and it looks like I can bang out a little update. And what better way to resume updating than to catch up with our old friends at the Reader Service Center, who, as you'll recall, mailed Ruddy Ruddy some Harlequin

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1082083309445549932004-04-15T19:26:00.000-07:002004-04-15T19:53:22.623-07:00

Ruddy Ruddy has had a nice run of packages being delivered, and it continues with the one I received today. Consisting of a small box sealed inside a thick, black, opaque plastic bag, it instantly evoked mystery. What could it be? Surely something good to deserve its weatherproof wrapper. Shaking it revealed little. Could it be jewelry? Cookies? No. It's a box of Fresh Scent Electrasol 2in1 Tabs

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1081569940227344422004-04-09T21:05:00.000-07:002004-04-09T21:09:30.716-07:00

I'm out of town right now on a combined birthday/Easter break, so while I'm busy celebrating my birth and Christ's death, expect no posting until at least Tuesday.

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1081130631172355452004-04-04T18:52:00.000-07:002004-04-09T21:12:31.950-07:00

Once again, our good friends from the Reader Service Center write to Ruddy Ruddy concerning the Harlequin novels they sent, and once again, I've put their desperately pressing correspondence aside for a week or two before turning my attention to it. My apologies (to you, the loyal reader -- not to the Reader Service). This most recent letter, which arrives in an envelope marked "OFFICIAL NOTICE",

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1080882783083091042004-04-01T21:05:00.000-08:002004-04-01T21:58:20.590-08:00

If I ever get around to putting up the Wall of Ruddy Ruddy again, it's going to have to incorporate some shelves in order to properly display the packages that seem to be arriving with increased frequency. Another one came today, this one addressed to Dr. Ruddy Ruddy. That's right: Doctor Ruddy Ruddy. Now that's what I call moving up in the world! Inside the cube-shaped package is another

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1080607469528623582004-03-29T16:43:00.000-08:002004-03-29T21:46:18.810-08:00

Just getting your attention with the title there. Sorry about playing with your emotions. Actually, it was quite a successful day for Ruddy Ruddy. Let me walk you through it. Too busy for work today, I took the day off to attend to all things Ruddy. Thanks to my friend Tyler, I got some snappy-looking cards printed out on card stock. Then I strapped on the old rollerblades for the first time

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1079930668538095482004-03-21T20:39:00.000-08:002004-03-21T20:54:51.090-08:00

I've long wondered what would happen if someone sent Ruddy Ruddy a package that was too large to fit in my mailbox and no one was around to receive. Actually, I knew what would happen: It would be held at my local postal outlet until Ruddy Ruddy picked it up. Well, it happened. I returned home Thursday night to find the delivery notice awaiting. I've punched the notice number into the Canada

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1079739690962316502004-03-19T15:36:00.000-08:002004-03-19T15:53:17.246-08:00

Good news for my Ruddy Buddies who have been clamoring for their membership cards. I was chatting with one of the lovely designers at work, and she said she'd be glad to devise some handsome cards for the low, low cost of a Dairy Queen Blizzard. Her previous card-making experience includes whipping up some snappy business cards reading "Manwhore", so I'm convinced she's got what it takes. All I

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1079633412785479802004-03-18T10:10:00.000-08:002004-03-18T12:51:25.686-08:00

Ruddy Buddy #1 (and Muse of Ruddy Ruddy) Katherine sends this link to a book released by her publishing company, with regrettable cover details. Click the link to the larger image to see why the Germans lost World War I.

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1079408705326034092004-03-15T19:33:00.000-08:002004-03-18T10:04:54.013-08:00

When the envelope arrived from Rose Martin Eternal Life Skills, I was genuinely excited. Life skills are very important, whether they're knowing how to conduct a job search, or how to iron a shirt, or how to say no to drugs. So who wouldn't be interested in gaining some life skills that would last forever? Greedy for knowledge, I tore the envelope open and grabbed the letter inside, which said:

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1078805572402556072004-03-08T20:08:00.000-08:002004-03-08T22:22:08.513-08:00

Tax time approaches, and I sincerely hope that Revenue Canada isn't expecting a little something from Ruddy Inc. That branch of the government hasn't taken notice of this ersatz business arm of the Ruddy Ruddy empire as yet, but other governmental departments continue to mail helpful instructional pamphlets. Take the new one by the Canada-Ontario Business Service Centre, titled "You Have Business

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1078461586277238302004-03-04T20:32:00.000-08:002004-03-04T20:47:31.420-08:00

I just wanted to drop a small note to my Ruddy Buddies to let you know that I have not forgotten about you. In fact, I treasure you above all other members of the human race. I actually sat down to whip up some fancy membership cards this last weekend. However, I had to reinstall Quark XPress (which I'd deleted for space considerations to do so, because I want them to look sharp. But to my dismay

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1078460458466580412004-03-04T20:20:00.000-08:002004-03-04T21:48:44.796-08:00

Once again, the Reader Service Center continues their futile quest to extract payment from Ruddy Ruddy for the unasked-for Harlequin novels they sent. Except this time, judging by the additional handwritten font over the name and return address, the company seems to now be called the Phillip Brownley Reader Service Center. The handwritten font also says DATED MAIL -- Open and read immediately!

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1078278289959164522004-03-02T17:44:00.000-08:002004-03-04T20:20:53.153-08:00

Also trying to save Ruddy Ruddy's soul, in their own way, are the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. I wonder if they got Ruddy Ruddy's name from the people who named him an official Ontario chicken lover, and if so, how did they interpret "lover"? As "one who loves chickens" or as "one who loves eating chickens"? The latter seems likely, as they've thoughtfully sent along a vegetarian

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1077857650302054872004-02-26T20:50:00.000-08:002004-02-26T22:36:55.856-08:00

Old-tyme religion is a hot topic right now, what with Mel Gibson's Jesusploitation snuff film having just come out. I didn't get as much done at work today as I would have liked, owing to co-workers asking me if I intended to see it, grilling me as to why I didn't have any interest in doing so, and eventually praying ostentatiously for me to come to the bosom of Jesus. Everybody's soul is

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1077599552252299192004-02-23T21:12:00.000-08:002004-02-23T21:28:01.560-08:00

Scott informs me that this site now comes up in the number one spot if you do a Google search on "ruddy ruddy". (Bob Ruddy has not only acceded to my demands that he give up the top spot, but has slid all the way to fifth place.) The next goal: Come in first in a Google search on "ruddy". Right now, this site is in fifth, while the top spot is held by a journalist named Christopher Ruddy.

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1077504684066635852004-02-22T18:51:00.000-08:002004-02-23T21:15:33.653-08:00

You can have your Anaheim, Californias, and your Orlando, Floridas. Me, I'll take Minden, Nebraska. What's in Minden, Nebraska, you ask? Oh, nothing. Only the largest private collection of Americana anywhere. That's right -- if you're not interested in checking out the authentic Americana of Harold Warp Pioneer Village for your next vacation, perhaps you'd prefer to go to the Afghanistan/Pakistan

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1076897285998987452004-02-15T18:08:00.000-08:002004-02-22T18:59:05.093-08:00

Two new pieces of mail have arrived. Since the first one has something to do with insurance, it's kind of boring. But since it's also a letter to Ruddy Ruddy, it's inherently interesting. The second one, I don't quite understand. "This is not an advertisement. This is the information you requested," lies the first envelope, which comes from Long-Term Care Quote in Chandler, AZ, which sells

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1076698365146047022004-02-13T10:52:00.000-08:002004-02-15T18:10:54.123-08:00

Following the arrival of the beer poster, Ruddy Ruddy's culinary adventures continued last night with the arrival of a thick envelope from the Ontario Egg Producers. I'd like to mock the contents, but frankly, I've been presented with the most amazing collection of egg-related knowledge that I've ever seen. I'm impressed and even grateful for all the useful info. For example, do you know what

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1076524363827315472004-02-11T10:32:00.000-08:002004-02-13T10:56:13.263-08:00

My chest pounded with excitement yesterday when I found an envelope addressed to "R. Rudy" in my mailbox. Why the excitement? For one thing, the address was handwritten, and I tingled with glee to think that somebody actually saw the name "Ruddy Ruddy" and spelled it out by hand (if badly), rather than some computer simply spitting out the name onto a label. But the excitement largely stemmed

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1076093517401351602004-02-06T10:51:00.000-08:002004-02-11T10:55:19.716-08:00

I'm informed that if you do a Google search on "Ruddy Ruddy", this site now comes up in the number two spot. (Actually, this site is number three, but the first and second entries appear to point to the same thing.) Not too long ago, you'd have only gotten information about the tragically fated ruddy duck. The number one entry is the user profile for Bob Ruddy, aka ruddy@ruddy.net. I don't know

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1076049474197975782004-02-05T22:37:00.000-08:002004-02-06T11:00:55.686-08:00

Ruddy Ruddy has been sent plenty of good things, but never any delicious things. That's all changed. Thanks to Tree of Life/Gourmet Award Foods' location in Mississauga (which isn't located too far from my office, as it turns out), my mailbox has yielded a bubble-wrap-protected mailing envelope with samples of Jelly Belly jellybeans and the new JBz, which consist of "a rich milk chocolate center

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1075355257736590012004-01-28T21:47:00.000-08:002004-02-05T22:40:29.420-08:00

If there are any two words any more exciting to me right now than "Ruddy Ruddy", they are undoubtedly "Hong Kong". Fortunately, I do not have to choose between the two, because in a development that extends a growing worldwide phenomenon beyond North America and Europe into Asia, I am happy to report that Ruddy Ruddy has received an offering of mail from the southeast Asian island territory.

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1075177517697793932004-01-26T20:25:00.000-08:002004-03-04T20:53:37.153-08:00

I've had some mail arrive for Ruddy Ruddy -- three postcards from Hugo Boss -- that are exhilarating on several levels. Firstly, they contain samples of Hugo, a fragrance for men. Let's say that again: A fragrance for men. For so long, Ruddy Ruddy has been mailed stuff for women that s/he began to question his/her own gender. It's fantastic to have his manhood validated. Second, the return

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1074663081062872512004-01-20T21:31:00.000-08:002004-01-20T21:59:19.670-08:00

My loyal Oxford correspondent brings some upsetting and alarming news: The UK government has eradicated the ruddy duck. This is an outrage. The ruddy duck (Oxyura jamaicensis) is described in this article as "a pushy American settler" and while as a Canadian I naturally sympathize, I cannot endorse genocide as the answer. Besides, as a Canadian still flushed with pride over our glorious victory

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1074129530256586192004-01-14T17:18:00.000-08:002004-01-15T10:32:25.873-08:00

"You have other stuff here," my housemate said, gesturing at a pile on the table. "I don't care about my real mail!" I answered gleefully. Because I had mail for Ruddy Ruddy! Indeed, Ruddy Ruddy has achieved the gold standard of junk mail reception: an "important notice" from Publisher's Clearing House. The back of the envelope was emblazoned with red handwriting that read, "Someone with these

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1074042489536958382004-01-13T17:08:00.000-08:002004-01-13T17:25:33.590-08:00

My new favorite Englishwoman -- displacing the late, gin-swilling Queen Mum -- is Ruddy Buddy #1, Katherine in Oxford, England, who has about the friendliest postal code I've ever seen; it's all full of X's and O's and looks like it stands for "hugs and kisses." Her English upbringing (of which I'm sure I have completely the wrong idea, having read too many Enid Blyton books as a tot) has given

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1073962412922803112004-01-12T18:53:00.000-08:002004-01-12T18:53:54.320-08:00

Dash it! I did something idiotically absentminded today: I left a pot of boiling water on the stove to make soup and then went off to play online poker with Scott. It was not until later, when I was on my way back from the laundromat, that I realized what I'd done, and why the kitchen had started to smell a little odd earlier. I rushed home to find I'd boiled the pot bone-dry and that the house

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1073794897784347502004-01-10T20:21:00.000-08:002004-01-11T11:39:42.383-08:00

Just a quick update to mention that there's no news. Well, there's no news in terms of Ruddy Ruddy mail coming in. However, I've been given an idea by a couple of enthusiastic visitors from across the pond, Katherine and Rosie, whom I've named official Ruddy Buddies. Because the few people I've named official Ruddy Buddies so far (i.e., Katherine and Rosie, plus my neighbour Elizabeth) seem to

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1073070045563737072004-01-02T11:00:00.000-08:002004-01-02T11:03:27.676-08:00

Of the scenarios listed previously, what actually happened is either scenario #1 or a combination of #1 and #3; While lots of mail for Ruddy Ruddy may well have arrived over the holidays, only to be thrown out by my brain-damaged housemate, I returned to find at least one letter in the mailbox. My excitement mounted when I saw the message printed on the outside: Your new card is enclosed.

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1072823644683115872003-12-30T14:34:00.000-08:002003-12-30T14:34:22.036-08:00

We don't know a lot about Ruddy Ruddy, but we do know one thing: Whether s/he's a Christian or a Jew, s/he goes on Christmas vacation when I do. I'm out of town at the moment (my vacation extending from Christmas Eve until New Year's Day), so I'm not around to check the mail. There are three possibilities as to what's going on in my absence: 1. A little mail is arriving for Ruddy Ruddy, which

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1072145113038079092003-12-22T18:05:00.000-08:002004-01-12T18:54:40.990-08:00

The world is closing in Did you ever think That we could be so close, like brothers? The future's in the air I can feel it everywhere Blowing with the wind of change It's a momentous occasion, albeit a sorrowful one. The time has come to tear down the Wall of Ruddy Ruddy. Due to three new people being added to our department at work, there's been a shuffling of the seating arrangements. For

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1071841003258618532003-12-19T05:36:00.000-08:002003-12-19T05:36:57.616-08:00

Over the past while, Ruddy Ruddy has been sent a number of drugstore items: shampoos, conditioners, skin cream, maxipads, anti-diarrhea caplets (check out this guy trying not to befoul the hot tub he's sharing with two lovely ladies), and topical creams to treat herpes simplex. However, last night marks the first time, I've received pharmaceuticals I can really abuse: painkillers. I've got me

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1071636916383244192003-12-16T20:55:00.000-08:002003-12-16T21:07:25.610-08:00

Evidence continues to mount that Ruddy Ruddy is either a girl or a raging metrosexual. Today, I've received some free samples of Dove Hair Care with Weightless Moisturizers. (If you want to take a truly interminable test, may I suggest giving the interactive hair healthometer a whirl?) If I were a girl, I might be digging this Ruddy Ruddy thing even more than I already do, since I'm getting some

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1071114606018805042003-12-10T19:50:00.000-08:002004-02-11T16:58:55.843-08:00

In the future, Ruddy Ruddy updates will appear on this site. However, in the past, they appeared on my original blog. To bring you up to speed, here's a directory of all the posts to date, in chronological order: Ruddy Ruddy In which I discover a wormhole... (Ruddy Ruddy content extremely minimal) Ruddy! Ruddy! Ruddy! Ruddy Ruddy #4 Ruddy Ruddy Redux Have I always been a bad person? Six! My love

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6191488.post-1071114585729677132003-12-10T19:49:00.000-08:002003-12-10T19:49:57.710-08:00

Welcome to Ruddy Inc., your one-stop shop for all the Ruddy Ruddy-related news fit to print. "But hold on," you might be saying. "What's a Ruddy Ruddy?" Well, the question is not of what, but rather of who Ruddy Ruddy is. And the answer is either: a) Me or b) I have no earthly idea It all started back when I lived in one of my student houses in Kingston, Ontario. We used to occasionally

Peter Lynnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04374559124495979229noreply@blogger.com0